Question: Maundy Thursday and/or Good Friday?

I was just asked a question that (although I provided a guess) I have absolutely no answer for.  Perhaps y'all can help?!

The questioner observed that locally (in SW Michigan), he tended to see RCA churches gathering for worship on Maundy Thursday while CRC churches seemed to prefer Good Friday. 

What does your congregation do?  One?  Both?  Any idea, if you only gather for one, why it would be that one rather than the other?

Thanks!

Grace and Peace,

  `tim

Marriage Policy

My guess is that many of you 1) are married, 2) have performed weddings, 3) have attended weddings, or 4) have certain expectations regarding what a couple should do in preparation for a wedding.  I do too.  The problem is, those expectations seem drastically different from person to person and from minister to minister.  So, a few years ago I put together a wedding policy that serves as a "general FAQ" for those who want me to "perform" their weddings.

Sometimes it gets revised dramatically, other times not at all.  At the very least, it serves to get the conversation going.  Do others of you have similar policies?  If you've been married, were you presented with such a policy?  Is such a policy appropriate?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

My policy is as follows...

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Tim's Marriage Policy

Wow, you’re engaged! Has the reality of it sunk in yet? You are about to embark on a journey that will last for the rest of your lives – a journey with amazing highs and difficult lows. It is a journey of love and, at the same time, a journey of choice. If you remember and foster both of them, your marriage will be an amazing and blessed union!

Marriage is the only reality, in the scriptures, where two individuals become, miraculously and irreversibly, one. Because I take this seriously, it is important that we are clear about each of our expectations before we go any further in the process....

1. Marriage is a God-given gift.

2. Marriage is also a choice.

3. Marriage is intended to last as long as both partners remain living.

4. Marriage is both a spiritual and physical reality.

5. Marriage is the only relationship within which God promotes the expression of human sexuality.

6. Marriage takes priority over every other human relationship, expectation, and desire in life.

7. Marriage requires ongoing commitment, attention, and care to remain healthy.

In order to engage these seven expectations more fully, I require the following before

your wedding day....

1. At least 6 sessions of premarital counseling, either with myself, another Christian minister, or a counseling professional (i.e. psychologist, marriage counselor, social worker with at least an MSW and some experience in marriage counseling). Note: I will not “hunt you down” to schedule these sessions. While I will try to be available and flexible it is your responsibility to arrange them with me.

2. The use of PREPARE/ENRICH (you are responsible for the scoring fee) and other instruments (as necessary).

3. Reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapmen

4. Honest engagement and discussion in at least the following areas:

a. the meaning of marriage

b. faith

c. personality

d. family of origin

e. sexuality and birth control

f. finances

5. Understanding and compliance with all local, state, and national laws relating to marriage.

If any of these requirements are inappropriate, in your situation, please feel free to discuss it with me and arrangements can be made for your circumstance.

Finally, the question of payment is always an awkward reality but should be clear from the beginning. If your wedding is held in our church, I expect the musician(s) and sound technician(s) to be reasonably reimbursed for their time and expertise and for the building policy to be followed without complaint (I will gladly discuss amounts with you if you want). I have no set fee for performing a wedding. For some, any amount would be an unreasonable sacrifice. When finances are not as tight, it is generally considered appropriate to pay a minister the same as one might for other wedding professionals (i.e. photographers, florists, etc.).

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Grace and Peace,

  `tim

A Sense of Sadness (another take on it)

I read Peter Semeyn's post with interest and must agree.  The situation at the "cathedral" brings about sadness though, I too, must admit I've had a certain amount of cynicism regarding it in the past even though many in my congregation thoroughly enjoy its ministry.  My sadness comes from a different perspective, I think. 

I'm sad because the situation may have been preventable.  If the "cathedral" had been set up with an acting consistory and the Elders had been educated and given the opportunity to embrace their roles and responsibilities, the ministry would have been (at least in part) protected from a dynastic leadership and familial infighting.

The term "cathedral" is not accidental.  A cathedral is a "seat" of a bishop's domain.  A Catholic church can only legitimately be called a "cathedral" when it is the bishop's "seat."  Sure, there are definite benefits of that type of polity, but the RCA embraces a more communal sense of leadership.  For us, there is no such thing as a cathedral.  Despite the popularity of the "visionary" "leader," our polity calls for a "body" leadership . . . a leadership embraced by the whole body of elders and deacons.  This, when done well, prevents us from being personality-based-churches.

I understand that our polity has its problems, but it also has some distinct benifits.  Helping prevent this kind of a situation is one of them.

Grace and Peace,

  `tim

Commissioned Pastors and their Ordinations

My apologies for being so disconnected from the Herald Blogs lately.  I've been working on the final bits of my D.Min. thesis and it's taken a vast majority of my free time - I'm not quite there yet, but there is an end in sight!

In any case...

Zeeland Classis will be meeting again on Tuesday and I will likely be one of the very few voices to question the Classis' approach on our approach to commissioned pastors.  Indeed, I suppose I'm one of the few voices in our Classis to question the wisdom of the whole concept, but that ship has already sailed. 

My reason for blogging this evening is to ask how some of the other Classes out there are handling the question of ordination.  I didn't harp too loudly in the initial stages because, back then, there was the expectation that a commissioned pastor would be an elder prior to entering into the process.  That makes sense to me.  My concern is that now being an elder is a requirement for commissioning but not for entering into the process of becoming a commissioned pastor. 

Why does that concern me?  Here's why: Elders are elected and ordained by local congregations.  The process of discerning ability and giftedness for the office of elder is intended to be done by a local congregation who presumably knows the individual and can vouch for their character, quality, etc.  This ensures that commissioned pastors have already passed the "local approval" test - that their gifts for leadership have already been recognized and affirmed.

To "make" someone an elder after completing some kind of commissioned pastor training throws a wrench into the whole idea.  No longer has someone prior to entering the process had their gifts recognized and affirmed by a local congregation through election, ordination and installation to the office of elder.  Now the role of commissioned pastor is a stand-alone "office" that's somehow folded under the office of elder to give it legitimacy. 

Perhaps the biggest problem, in my mind, is the question of who ordains elders and how it happens.  As I mentioned before local congregations ordain elders, and they do it through a specific process.  A Classis cannot ordain elders nor can a Classis decide that a local congregation must somehow ordain someone to the office.  So how does that work with a commissioned pastor?  It isn't so difficult to imagine that a Classis might decide to make someone a commissioned pastor whose local congregation has never seen fit to elect and ordain to that office.  So who ordains them?  Does the classis do it (which they don't have the right to do), or do they force a local congregation to do it (which, although they might have the authority to do, unquestionably oversteps the bounds of appropriateness)?

I don't mean to really raise the question of whether there ought to be commissioned pastors, but I am interested in how the rest of you view the question of ordination.

Would love to hear your thoughts!

Grace and Peace,

  `tim

Here's my prayer for the new president...

So, we have a new president.  I'm excited.  I'm hopeful.  I'm eager to see what happens and how people respond.  I'm glad that the country has elected someone so young who has a young family.  I'm glad so many white people voted for a black president.  I'm surprised that someone with such a normal familial background is now in the White House.  I'm... well... I'm a lot of things.

I'm also concerned.  But my primary concern may seem an odd one to most people.  My primary concern is whether or not President Obama will be able to move past easily categorizing people and problems (and, indeed, problem people!)  We do it in the church; it happens in politics; it's everywhere, and it's abhorrent. 

I know the human brain can only handle so much and that we need to use categories to be able to understand the world around us without mental and psychiatric breakdown.  But that's also our problem.  We often end up shoveling people and problems into the wrong pigeon holes.

This is particularly true for racial issues, economic issues, educational issues, and religio-political issues (all of which are going to be huge for the new president).  People who are into racial reconciliation tend to assume everything is a racial issue; people into economics tend to assume everything comes back to the economy.  (etc. etc.)  The problem is everything simply doesn't fit into a single category - no matter what that category is.  Often, in my experience, things and people can actually be categorized (in a healthy way) but simply don't fit into the categories that might seem obvious.

So, in line with the kinds of things that have been offered here in the past, let me suggest a focus for your prayers regarding our new president: That he resist the urge to shovel people and problems in easy categories and that he fight the tendency to become an easily categorized individual.

He's going to be expected, by many, to fit into easy categories and his life would probably be easier if he used easy categories himself in his decision making and allegiances.  He will only become a truly great president, however, if he's capable and willing to transcend them.

God help him.

Grace and peace,

  `tim